Parenting and Dog Training, are they similar?

In this blog series, I will explore my experience with raising dogs and children, side by side. I hope to bring to your awareness, the similarities of raising humans and dogs by showing you the importance of bonding and spending quality time with them in a consistent manner. If you like what you read, stay tuned for my next blog post as we delve even deeper into the subject of babies and puppies!

To give a little background of my life experience, I had my first child at the tender age of 19. While still a child myself, I was quickly confronted with fatherhood. The struggle was real and without selfless parents who helped me in every way they could, I would have most definitely followed a different life path. Since then I have been raising a toddler-cowgirl-princess who has the dogged valor of her mother and most recently welcomed another chapter of learning into my life in the form of an inquisitive three-month-old son. 

Children, like dogs, are unique and present their own challenges and opportunities to learn, reflect, and grow as an individual as well as a family unit. What I find fascinating is the temperament of children and dogs is recognizable from the very beginning. It is our job as a parent to a dog or a human to take note of their strengths and the things they struggle with. As they grow, we must reinforce and reward behaviors we want to continue and on the flip side, we must be willing to correct behaviors we deem unwanted, in hope of reducing or extinguishing the behavior. 

The struggle as a parent lies in the balance of both reward and correction. Consistency, however, is crucial in letting our dogs and our kids know they can count on us to lead, support, and protect them. 

My firstborn son is almost twelve and I often feel like I am looking through a time portal at myself as a preteen boy. I vividly remember the challenges of puberty and the rough transition from child to teen. I recall feeling the increased desire to figure out where you fit in with your peers, experimenting with socialization, and wanting to hang out with my parents and family less and my friends more. Standing on this side of the fence presents all sorts of new challenges but also allows me the space to be objective, patient and empathetic. What we learn with parenting is that clear communication can be the most important tool of engagement with our kids and dogs. 

The first dog I felt connected to was my wife’s dog, Two Socks. He was the first dog that portrayed what I imagined to be the “man’s best friend” companionship everyone looked for in a dog, it seemed like we both understood each other’s needs. Two Socks was a wild child and was known to have “little dog syndrome”. Believe it or not, Two Socks is a dachshund, pitbull, chihuahua mix. If he wasn’t humping other dogs he was fighting them. Dog parks were a nightmare and walking was unbearable. But like many people, we made excuses for his behavior. 

Shadow, my German Shepard, was the second dog I felt a real bond with. We were lucky enough to rescue her during a vacation in San Antonio visiting my wife’s family. Jahaira was pregnant with our first child and when we brought Shadow home we started to notice all the same characteristics that we weren’t fond of with Two Socks in Shadow. She was horrible on a leash, in fact, there were many times when I would get so frustrated with her I would pick her up and carry her home. Again, we made excuses partially because we didn’t have any rules or boundaries and like many people, we didn’t know any better.

After, my wife and I welcomed a baby into the world and our life changed significantly. Our options became clear. We could give Shadow away to another home which our hearts knew wasn’t the right way forward. We could continue to let Shadow stay wild and keep causing chaos alongside a newborn which our minds knew wasn’t a viable option. The last option was to buckle up and train her. While not the easiest path, we decided that consistently working to change Shadow’s behaviors was the best decision for our entire family.

As a parent, and now as a dog trainer, I remind myself that my greatest opportunity with each dog and child is to learn what drives them, what excites them, and what it is that they are truly interested in doing. It’s not my job to project or push any sort of internal agenda on my kids or my dogs. My job is to foster their talents and strengthen their natural abilities. They say a dog is a man’s best friend but so is your child. I have heard from many parents that their kid brings out their inner child. I think what they are feeling is groundedness, living in the moment, and being open, honest, and truly present. 

So whether you are playing with your kid or you pick up that leash this week to train your dog, let go of your anxiety to be perfect, be present with your children and family, be open to discovery, and most importantly have fun! I can assure you if you are having fun, they are probably feeling the same!

If you liked this post, please share it with someone who might find it useful. To learn more about how to take your relationship with your dog to the next level, click here to be directed to my services page. Be on the lookout for my next post where I get into the weeds of seeing our children and dogs through a similar lens! 

Thanks for reading, and happy training!